My Rock of Love...
Yesterday afternoon, me, my kids, my neighbor Mary and her daughter and my brother drove over to the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. They gave us free rooms and free dinner and I figured we'd have a nice dinner and drop the kids off at the pool, while Mary and I had fun at the slots and throwing back several frozen strawberry Margaritas. Plus that Fresh Harvest buffet is so good and I have no problems enticing my kids to go there to eat. And once or twice a month, they give us free dinners. So we go and eat and visit the slots.
To our surprise as we were checking in, Bret Michaels and Big John were in front of the spa, so we HAD to go over and see them up close (and personal, which I will explain later).
First of all, is anyone out there (besides me and Tina) addicted to that train wreck of a show "Rock of Love?" I don't get why I watch it to the point of TiVo-ing it, but I do. I also am amused by "Flavor of Love" and now the new "I Love Money." But Bret Michaels, he has the best show, with the sluttiest sluts and stupidest wannabes that keep my eyes glued to the tube. And I've never missed an episode. Ever. I stopped watching Flavor Flav about halfway through last season because it was just nauseating. But I do like Bret.
So we walk over to him and Big John and say hello and they are so nice. Really nice. Bret talked to Connor and thanked him for being a fan and told him it was very nice to meet him. Delaney didn't want to get anywhere near him because she said, "He's weird." Connor handed him this cute little notebook that I had in my purse for him to sign. Mind you it was brand new, full of empty pages with the coolest ever vintage cover, and where does he sign it? ON THE COVER. Not to a fresh clean page, but on the cover. In big huge letters that encompass the entire page. "Rock On. Bret Michaels," it says. Then Bret very graciously obliges us with a photo opportunity. First Connor steps closer and Bret puts his arm around him and makes some kind of "gang sign" (and if anyone knows what that means, can you please LMK?) I snap the photo of them and then Bret asks me if I want a photo as well. Sure. Okay. Why not? Because he is very cute and his skin is smooth, his teeth are white and I'm really thinking I want to rip that baseball cap and bandana off his head and see if there's real hair under there. There is that controversy, you know. So I hand my camera to Mary and give her a 2-second instructional (where to press, how to not make me look so fat), and I walk closer to Bret. I get close enough and I put my arm lightly around his back and he makes that same gang sign with his right hand and slips his left arm around my back and puts his LEFT HAND ON MY ASS. Firmly. I guess that's what he's used to doing with Heather and Ambre and Daisy, but HELLO? I'm a 48-year-old woman, and I haven't had a virtual stranger really GRAB my ASS like that in a very long time. Except for that one time on the "El" in Chicago.
Now I hate to admit this, because I like to think of myself as a pseudo-moral compass, but I really liked Bret Michaels grabbing my ass. He is damn cute, hot and sexy and he's a bonafide rock star. And he thought my ass was as good as any to grab. Kinda makes me proud. I think I'm going to start doing some squats and working out to "Buns of Steel" now and firm up that tush. Because you just never know who'll I'll run into at the Hard Rock. Yep...Bret Michaels, he likes my butt.



